? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
