im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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