Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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