i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
