Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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