that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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