when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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