Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
