Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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