I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
