I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
