my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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