i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
