Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
