dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
