Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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