Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
