Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
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the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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