Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
