ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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