You can't motorboat a personality
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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