I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so let's talk penis.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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