I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
