before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i think im in europe. pls send help
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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