He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
