woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
