That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
