the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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