i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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