3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
