ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
