I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
ttyl tear gas
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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