I accidentally had phone sex last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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