i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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