so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
