okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
