I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
