when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Found your dick twin last night
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
