R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
