You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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