i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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