Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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