"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
