adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
