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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
