...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
