omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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