Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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