Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
