We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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