Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
