Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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