party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
