i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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