she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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