You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
