Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Randomize
