the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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