let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Two words: nipple clamps
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