Got a toothbrush?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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