...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
