i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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