sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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