at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
